BIN ALLOFEM

SPECIAL BULLETIN
ATTN: ALL PERSONNEL
SUBJECT:  CORPORATE SECURITY

THIS OFFICE HAS BEEN NOTIFIED BY CORPORATE SECURITY THAT THERE HAVE BEEN A NUMBER
OF SUSPECTED TERRORISTS WORKING THROUGHOUT OUR COMPANY FACILITIES.  THREE
SUSPECTS HAVE BEEN APPREHENDED AND TAKEN INTO CUSTODY. THEY GO BY THE NAMES OF: 
BIN SLEEPIN, BIN LOAFIN AND BIN DRINKIN.   SECURITY HAS ALSO ADVISED THAT A FOURTH
SUSPECT CANNOT BE LOCATED.  THE NAME HE HAD BEEN USING, WHICH IS THOUGHT TO BE AN
ALIAS IS BIN WORKIN.  SECURITY IS QUICK TO POINT OUT THAT ANYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE HE’S 
BIN WORKIN WILL BE EASY TO SPOT.  FURTHERMORE AN ALARM SOUNDING EARLY THIS
MORNING IN OUR DETROIT BRANCH HAS TURNED OUT TO BE A FALSE ALARM INASMUCH AS IT
WAS TRACED TO A NEWLY HIRED EMPLOYEE BY THE NAME OF BIN SMOKIN.  BIN SMOKIN IS NOT
CONSIDERED A TERRORIST, BUT HAS RECEIVED A REPRIMAND FOR CAUSING THE FALSE ALARM. 
ALSO INCLUDED IN RECEIPT OF REPRIMANDS FOR CONDUCT UNBECOMING  EMPLOYEES OF THIS
COMPANY WHILE ACTING IN THEIR OFFICIAL CAPACITIES ARE BIN LYIN, BIN GAMBLIN, BIN
GOOFIN, BIN CAVORTIN, BIN GUZZLIN AND BIN MOONIN.  PERSONNNEL DIRECTOR BIN CANNIN
WARNS THAT SUCH CONDUCT WILL NOT BE TOLERATED AND COULD RESULT IN DISMISSAL. 

OUR SAN FRANCISCO OFFICE REPORTS THAT EMPLOYEE MORALE IS AT A NEW LOW SINCE THE
RECENT ATTACKS IN NEW YORK AND WASHINGTON.  MANY EMPLOYEES HAVE DEMONSTRATED
ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION,  INCLUDING SUCH WELL KNOWN MIDDLE MANAGERS AS BIN CRYIN,
BIN BAWLIN AND BIN WHININ. THEREFORE HUMAN RESOURCES DIRECTOR SPIRIT BIN LIFTIN HAS 
HIRED A NUMBER OF  ENTERTAINERS WHO WILL TOUR ALL COMPANY LOCATIONS IN AN EFFORT TO 
RAISE EMPLOYEE SPIRITS AND HOPEFULLY RAISE LEVELS OF PRODUCTION.  THOSE HIRED ARE 
MOHAMAD BIN JOKIN, FATIMA BIN SINGIN AND ALOTA BIN STRIPPIN.

ON A MORE SERIOUS NOTE A REPORT FROM OUR BROWNSVILLE TEXAS BRANCH HAS LED TO A
COMPANY-WIDE AWARENESS IN REGARDS TO UNCONVENTIONAL WARFARE.   SEVERAL
SUSPECTED TERRORISTS IN THAT AREA HAVE BEEN APPREHENDED AND ARE CHARGED WITH
ATTEMPTED CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WARFARE.   THEY HAVE BEEN IDENTIFIED BY THE
TEXAS RANGERS AS BIN COUGHIN, BIN SNEEZIN AND BIN BELCHIN.    RANGERS ARE STILL
SEARCHING FOR ONE OF THE MOST DANGEROUS TERRORISTS KNOWN TO MAN.   HE SEEMS TO BE
ANYWHERE AND EVERYWHERE.   HE STRIKES FROM NOWHERE, WITHOUT WARNING, THEN
DISAPPEARS LIKE A SUMMER BREEZE..   A SOCIAL OUTCAST, HE HAS BEEN DEFINITLY 
IDENTIFIED AS THE NOTORIOUS OYESI BIN FARTIN.
  
ALL BRANCHES WILL RECEIVE UPDATES AS THEY BECOME AVAILABLE.   IN THE MEANTIME OUR 
CORPORATE CEO ADVISES ALL EMPLOYEES TO DO AS HAS.   HE’S BIN SMILIN.